


The Twins of Chaos

by keepquietplease



Series: Sanders Sides Stories [20]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: A lot of implied prinxiety, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, And so will Roman in this one, Gen, I was not drunk when I wrote this but quite confused, It is my belief that Remus can and will pick up Virgil and carry him around, It's been awhile since I've seen Pokemon and I tried to get the dynamic, It's my fic and Roman and Remus can be friends in it, No smut but Remus references it, Not implied but not the focus, Roman is a pining idiot and Remus enjoys the pain his brother experiences around Virgil, There is sort of moxiety too, They do illegal things!, They're best friends, Virgil's the brain of the trio but he's also a dumbass, oh yeah I curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease
Summary: This one is just Remus and Roman being assholes and best friends
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Stories [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837975
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	The Twins of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Author fact: I had a bilateral mastectomy due to the fact I am non-binary and FTM transitioning. I briefly had hydrophobia after surgery because I was told that certain parts of my chest would open up if they got wet. I took very shallow baths, and when I was allowed to shower, I only took one shower a week because I was so scared I would fuck everything up.  
> I take showers regularly now, but I was terrified of getting wet for a couple weeks. I still sometimes go "oh fuck" when the water is too hot because I'm convinced I will die.

"I'm just saying, if we both audition for the lead at the same time, they won't be able to tell us apart and give us both the roll."

"It's a perfect plan! We would both be the lead! Should I shave my mustache?"

"You should! Shouldn't he, Virgil?"

Virgil looked up from his phone. His friends were posing in front of him like a pair of nerds. They were all in the the twins' shared room. Remus and Roman originally planned on living on campus together, but Virgil said he needed at least one other person in his apartment. They all had been friends for years, and Virgil's place was a couple blocks away from their school, so the they decided to . Virgil was on Roman's bed, trying to hold back a smile at their antics. "I mean, yeah, it would be really funny if they couldn't tell who was actually the lead of the play. I'd pay money to see that."

"How much? Pay us up front!" Remus said, holding his hand out. "Money please!"

Roman, quickly, also extended his hand, smirking. Virgil rolled his eyes before placing his chin on Roman's hand and pouting. Roman, instantly, shot his hand away. "That's unfair! Remus and I hate your pouting face! Remus, don't make my mistake! Don't lose focus!"

Virgil let out a laugh, leaning back and going back on his phone. "Only works on you Princey. I have to ignore your brother to get him to stop. So, Remus, you shaving your mustache or not? Roman, we'd have to give you an eyebrow piercing to have you two be one hundred percent identical. You two have totally different styles. We pierce your eyebrow, we put switch the lobe piercing on Remus to one Roman has a pair of, and we buy you two identical outfits. Then, tomorrow, you try out for the play at the same time. One of you does the monologue, and one does the song. I suggest Remus for song because Roman is very good at being dramatic, and Remus is good at not riffing for five minutes. I'm going to guess the show doesn't have any of that. It would be hilarious to see them accidentally cast two leads."

"Oh! Can we pierce your eyebrow?" Remus put his hand down, turning to his brother. "That would be so much fun! Virgil's been doing an apprenticeship with a professional piercer for a year now! He did my nipple piercing!"

"Sure did. Was pretty proud of myself for that. Also, I've been doing my apprenticeship for two and a half years now. I'm almost done. Gonna get a job at my mentor's place. He already offered me a position once my training's done. No more working at the shitty store down the street. So, what do you say? Piercing time?"

"Virgil, stab my face this instant!" Roman jumped on the bed, smiling. "Do it!"

Virgil left the room to grab his equipment, leaving the twins alone. Remus also jumped on the bed. "This is going to be great! We'll trick them all! There's no set of twins! Also, ask Virgil out! It's very annoying watching you do this!"

"Okay, so we just have to hide in the bathroom near the theater, and once one of us is done, the other will switch out! Are you sure you want to lose your mustache? You've been growing it for so long."

"There is no room for sentimental feelings amidst chaos! The mustache goes! We must make sacrifices in order to achieve the ultimate prank which is both of us being in the show as the same character! If there are any shirtless scenes, I'll take out the nipple piercing. It's healed by now, and it can be out for an hour or two if needed. Auditions won't require us to be shirtless, though, and I don't want to take out my eyebrow shit. You have to deal with getting your eyebrow stabbed through."

"I'm fine with that! I'll look up how to take care of it all after he's done. You'll help me take care of it, right? I don't know what to do besides use salt water."

"That's pretty much what I did. Just cleaned it twice a day gently. The salt water has to be pretty specific, but it's not torture if it's not exact. Just try not to play with it too much before it heals. That can damage it and infections suck. Virgil is very good, though. He does things quickly and easily. He also doesn't question my bullshit, so I could ask him to pierce my dick, and he'd fucking do it."

"He's a brave man. I would get so uncomfortable imagining how it would feel while I'm doing it. I never want to deal with that feeling. Please don't talk about dick piercings to me."

"It's an aesthetic thing, Roman! It is chaos!"

"Okay, but my form of chaos is getting drunk at a party and performing every Disney song I can. It's how I impress men."

"Oh, Roman's impressed someone again?" Virgil asked, walking in with his tools. "Yeah, when are you getting a new boyfriend? Been weird not hiding in a bathroom out of fear of you bringing someone over."

Roman shut up instantly and moved to an actual chair, making Remus cackle with glee and clap his hands. Virgil gave them both a weird look before getting in front of Roman as he began to clean the area of skin he'd be piercing. He motioned for Remus to stand next to Roman so he could get them as identical as possible. He knew the general area, but they had to have it as close as they could. After about fifteen seconds, Virgil pinched part of Roman's eyebrow, grabbing a sterilized needle from the table next to them. With one reminder for Roman to breathe, he made the hole and grabbed the jewelry piece he had. 

"Alright, don't mess with this. It may swell a bit because that's the natural reaction from your body. It's going to ache, and I'd recommend not sleeping face down on your bed. I'm afraid you'll have to tone down the makeup until it heals. Healing is for about two to three months. No taking it out before then. We don't want it closing up."

"Yes sir! Was I a good customer?"

"You were great, Roman." Virgil moved away, cleaning up his supplies. He left the room again, and Roman turned to Remus.

"How dare you. How dare you almost expose me!"

"Quit complaining! He doesn't know, and you should be thankful because you are not good at hiding it!"

"I am very good at hiding things! This is bullshit! Ugh! Also that slightly hurt, but it's fine. Okay, so what song and monologue are auditioning with?"

* * *

Every now and then, Virgil would have a very stressful day and need to call Patton to come over and help. Patton was Virgil's boyfriend, and also the twins' TA for a couple classes in the past. Patton was very aware of Roman's infatuation with Virgil, and supported him completely, which Roman thought was a little weird, but whatever. Patton just told him that he trusted Virgil, and Roman had to accept that. He also enjoyed teasing Roman with Remus, which annoyed the other a lot. They all got along very well, especially when the twins were in class and Virgil needed someone to take care of him. He would just lay on the couch in a fetal position as Patton tried to make the whole place as happy and comfortable as possible. Today was one of those days. Roman and Remus returned from their audition with such pride only to find the place completely encompassed in darkness. Patton greeted them, holding edible cookie dough that was for literally anyone but Virgil.

"Hi boys! How were play tryouts?" Patton asked, smiling. 

"We pulled off the best prank ever! We're both getting the lead!" Roman said, smiling with the power of one hundred suns. "We put down 'r' as our name. They'll never know!"

"We are mayhem!" Remus screeched before skipping inside. "Virgil having one of those days?"

A groan from the couch answered, making Remus giggle.

"Cabinets! Cabinets!!" Remus chanted before picking Virgil up and ripping open a cabinet in the kitchen. He swiped all of the food out of it, grinning as he placed Virgil inside and closed the cabinet door. "He'll be fine after some time."

"Wait a second, I don't know if Virgil--" Patton started before shaking his head. "He's fine. Okay! Your prank was to both audition? I'm confused."

"We auditioned for the same role as the same person!" Remus was picking up the packaged food he threw on the ground. "A scam of the highest degree! They will have to deal with two leads!"

"Oh! That's funny! Okay, yeah! I'll make sure to come see the show when it's on. You two are probably going to get the lead, but even if you're a character with zero lines, I'll come and support you! Plus, it gives me an excuse to hang out with you all! A fun date, right Virgil?"

Both Virgil and Roman groaned at that, but Roman made his less audible. Virgil stuck a hand out, giving a thumbs up before pulling his hand back inside. Roman frowned, but shrugged. "Of course we're going to get the role. Have you no faith in us?"

"I have complete faith in you two. Want pizza? I'm thinking of ordering pizza tonight. Seems easier than trying to cook in the dark. Why don't we order pizza?" Patton grabbed their landline, dialing without much comments from the others. Remus smiled, humming as he sat at the kitchen table. Roman sat down across from him, laying his head on the table. Patton ordered the usual. Large cheese with mushrooms, and a liter of sprite. He hung up, sitting with them, still smiling a lot. "What else have you two been up to?"

"Well I got my eyebrow pierced by Virgil."

"I ate an alligator! They had it at this restaurant I went to! We both had it!"

"We did! I got drunk beforehand, and then I was very sick that night."

"I, also, got drunk. Virgil had to take care of us."

Patton nodded, letting out a small laugh. "I'm kind of glad I wasn't there for that. I bet that was exciting, but I'm pretty sure I'd be drunk too."

"Patton, you should get drunk with us sometime! That would be so much fun!" Remus said, looking around. "I bet you get super affectionate!"

"Well, sort of. I get affectionate, but then I immediately get sad. I'm not great with being drunk. Virgil will tell you many stories about that, but let's not focus on that. What are your plans for if you get the role? Are you going to both show up and ask which one got it?"

Both twins perked up at that, grinning. "Yes!"

"That sounds like a lot of fun. I want to be there if it happens. Give me a call so I can accompany you to the callback. That sounds like an enjoyable experience."

"Oh we will!" Remus said, leaning forward. "We will."

* * *

The twins were playing a round of blackjack. They were waiting for something to do that wasn't just cards. Remus suggested set off fireworks, but Virgil immediately shut that idea down, and Roman, in a desperate attempt to impress him, agreed to not do the fun thing with his brother. Their next plan was to find a creek and search for crawfish, but they didn't really know where to go.

"You know, if you didn't have such a hard-on for emo over there, we could be having a blast." Remus mumbled, placing down a seven. "But no. No, you had to pretend to be mature so you might be able to get laid. Good for you."

"We could still sneak out and light some up. I panicked!" Roman defended, crossing his arms. "Let's sneak out right now and set some fireworks off!

They both peaked out of their room. Virgil wasn't there, meaning he was probably in his room. Remus grabbed the fireworks from inside a chest under his bed. They snuck out, going a good distance to an open field where it would be safe. They set up, making sure they'd be alright when the fireworks went off and that they had enough time to get away from the explosion. Remus did a quick search around the area in case of any witnesses, but they found none.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

"Yes, I have the money to bail them out. I'm so sorry about them."

Virgil ended up having to pay a fine to get the two out of prison after they were caught and arrested. They used their phone call to call Virgil who wasn't pleased but promised to get there as fast as possible. He looked so tired when he got there. A bit disappointed, but he should've expected this. The fine wasn't as high as it could've been. Virgil managed to get it down to only three hundred dollars rather than the thousand it usually was. He paid, sighing the whole time, before he got to see the two very happy men.

"You two are in so much trouble. You owe me." Virgil hissed, letting them get their things before leading them to the car. "Both of you are sitting in the backseat. I don't want to see your faces next to me right now. I'm pissed."

"Would affection help at all?" Remus asked, nudging Roman.

"No. I think you two not getting arrested again would help. I said no fireworks for a reason. This was the exact reason. I knew you'd get in trouble. You're not allowed to be out of my sight the rest of the night. I don't want to throw away money like that for a long time. This is bullshit. No eating out for the next month. Patton can't buy you two shit either. I'm telling him as soon as we get home."

"He won't listen." Remus taunted, slipping into the back as Roman followed him into the car. "Patton doesn't do punishments."

"I feel like you two are children. I'm literally two years older than you, but you're children. If I didn't love you two, I'd kick you out. Couldn't we have waited until maybe three weeks or something to drive down to an abandoned area? I didn't want you two to get in trouble, and you did. What if the fine was three thousand dollars? What if we couldn't afford it? What if you were stuck in jail for awhile? Fuck!" Virgil started driving, gripping the wheel as hard as he could. "I was so scared when you called! I was so worried."

"Sorry Virgil," Roman whispered, making eye contact with him through the rear view mirror. "That was on us. We were bored."

"Next time watch a fucking movie. We could've rented some horror comedy to appease you both. Now we're going home, sitting down, and having a serious discussion about how to not get caught by the fucking cops while committing what's considered a crime. No doing this shit again when I say no. We'll do it later unless I have a serious problem with it. The minute we get home, I'm calling Patton and telling him no treats for you two. I have work in the morning, and I don't want to deal with leaving early because you two did something and got caught again. We're done talking about this now. I'm making breakfast for dinner, and we are done with this conversation."

The twins stayed quiet, staring at the ground of the the car. There were a couple pennies and a receipt for paper towels on the ground. Neither of them moved or spoke for the entire ride. Virgil was never this mad unless he was scared. They actually scared him this time. That was never a good idea. Virgil, not pleased with the silence, turned on the radio to just cool down. It made the ride more tolerable, but the next time they caught Virgil's eyes in the mirror, he was tearing up. Obviously holding back the tears with the way his eyes twitched and kept fluttering closed, but he was terrified, and they fucked up.

"We can make the omelettes for tonight." Remus offered, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"That'd be great. Thank you."

The rest of the ride was silent.

* * *

"You both did so well in the show, but are you sure you don't want to go to the afterparty? You want to actually do this instead?"

"Twin tongue piercings Virgil!"

"Yes! Twin tongue piercings for the twin stars!"

Virgil snorted, sitting across from them both. "Alright, well just so you know, you can't make out with anyone for three weeks, so no flirting at parties, and you won't be able to eat hard foods. Lot of jello for a long time. This is a terrible idea."

"Roman wasn't kissing anyone anyway!" Remus said before receiving a punch from Roman. "I am the successful one when it comes to seduction!"

"Pierce his lips shut." Roman said, sticking his chin up.

"Head down, Ro. Time to get a tongue piercing." 

Both twins sat still for their turn. Virgil liked their antics sometimes, and practicing his piercing with them proved to be helpful. He was almost done with his internship. Patton was going to be coming over later to celebrate with them. It was a very nice day, and Virgil was proud of them both. He cleaned up his stuff once they were done, standing.

"Let's do something illegal without getting caught. Let's go steal shit from a big company."

"Virgil, I am in love with you." Roman whispered, and Virgil laughed.

"It's not that impressive, but okay. Now, come on." Virgil left, and immediately Remus fucking punched Roman's arm as hard as he could, doubling down in laughter. Roman pushed him back before collecting himself and following Virgil.

Time to cause chaos.

**Author's Note:**

> Author fact: I've been listening to Dungeons and Daddies (not a BDSM podcast; D&D campaign about dads trying to find their sons in the forgotten realms), and they have twin kids who have the most confident voice who cause mischief, and every time I typed for the twins, I thought of Lark and Sparrow going "yes father! We wish to cause destruction!"


End file.
